One of the hardest things ever...

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life thus far. The boys and I said goodbye to Bruce yesterday evening as he boarded a bus with about 200 other soldiers to head to the plane that would take them to Iraq. I knew this day was coming. I knew it was going to be hard on the boys and I, but I couldn't imagine how hard. Not only was I sad about my husband leaving, or watching the boys say goodbye to daddy. But I had to look around at all these other soldiers saying goodbye to thier families and friends. It was so heartbreaking to watch. Everywhere you looked there were people crying and hugging and kissing. And it was such a long day too.

Bruce went in about 7 to drop off his bag for pickup. Then the boys and I followed around 10. We got to hang out for a bit with Bruce. He is the commander of his company so mostly he was checking on this and that, making sure everyone had their stuff in order. All the last minute stuff. Anyone who knows the Army, knows thier motto should be hurry up and wait, because let's face it that is what they do. They had to be in formation at the company, then move up the battallion for formation and have thier name read off a manefest, then back to the company to spend more time with thier families. We all eat lunch that the FRG provided and hang out. Then after about an hour of that, where mostly I'm just watching my boys climb the rope ladder,while Bruce is off running, we head back over to the BN (battallion) for another formation. After that we head down to another battallion's parking lot, just to do the whole manefest again, but with not just Bruce' BN but the other one as well. It takes awhile to name off 200 soldiers. Then we got to go over to the parking lot over from the BN to wait for the luggage to be picked up, that was dropped off at 7 am this morning, which now by the way it's 6:00 pm. The boys are tired, hungry and filthy since they've been playing in dirt all day. And at some point I had to run out and grab Bruce something to eat because he was so busy worrying about everyone else he never stopped to grab some pizza earlier. So at this point Bruce acutally can sit down and stay with us for about an hour before the buses showed up.

DJ was a bit emotional off and on all day. Everytime Bruce would move from one place to the next Jack would start crying because he though this was it, this is when we say goodbye. Adam, hard to believe, was calm like nothing was going on. It amazes me how different each of them took it. I did ok until one of the boys got teary eyed and that did me in. Then came the buses and everyone knew it was time, and boy did the tears start flowing. Jack was unconsolable, DJ just kept saying he didn't want him to go and sobbing, and then my stoic Adam lost it. So here I am with 100 other families, with my 3 boys clinging to me and sobbing about thier daddy leaving, and how they don't want him to go, and why can't he stay behind like some of the other soldiers get to. I'm trying to calm each of them down, and tell them it's ok to be sad, it's ok to be mad, but keep your chin up and show daddy how proud of him we are. There are like 10 buses picking up soldiers, and somewhere in the blur of ACU's we lose Bruce is in the crowd and can't see which bus he got on. So friend, God love her, motions to us from across the street, and finds Bruce for us on the other side of the bus. So we get one last glance at him and a wave and one last thrown kiss his way before the buses start up again and takes him away.

It's now after 7 and we are all exhausted physically and emotionally. We (the wives) give each other hugs and say the old stand by, call me if you need anything. It's comforting because you know this person knows exactly how you are feeling, but at the same time secretly, we think well you are lucky you don't have kids, it will be so much easier on you, or you only have one, you're life will be so much easier. I think sometimes we let ourselves think these things that in reality aren't true. It's hard on everyone, and someone, somewhere always has it worse off than you. I really think I'm blessed. I do have three children that I have to take care of for the next 15 months alone yes, but we have each other, and I won't be all alone, like a wife with no children. Or I don't just have one, which means my boys always have a buddy around to play with them, or to keep them busy when I need a break. I keep telling myself this will be fine, I will be fine, the boys will be fine. Because in reality life goes on, it won't stop for the next year, we still have to get up tomorrow (or in a few hours) and go to our first day of school. Life goes on, and each day it gets easier. It still sucks, but life does go on. So I may have my weepy moments, but I'm going to make the best of this time, for me an my boys.

If you've read this far, bless you my friends!!! We love all of you guys, and we can feel your love and your prayers. Thank you so much for that. Just please continue to pray for us.